38: Filling the Leadership Gap with Lolly Daskal

In this episode, Dave is excited to welcome Lolly Daskal. Lolly is the founder and CEO of Lead from Within and is an entrepreneurial and leadership powerhouse. She is one of the most sought-after executive leadership coaches in the world. Her extensive expertise spans 14 countries, six languages and hundreds of companies. She contributes to everything from Harvard Business Review to INC, Fast Company, Business Insider, and a number of other outlets.

She is ranked as:

Top 17 Columnists Worth Reading on Fast Company, Inc., HBR,

Top 50 Leadership and Management Experts @Inc.com

Top 100 Leadership Speakers to Hire @Inc.com

Top 100 Trusted Business Thought Leaders of America

Top 100 Businesses and Leadership

Top 100 Leadership Blogs Top 40 Websites by and for Women in the workplace

Top 100 Must Follow on Twitter Leaders to Watch by the American Management Association

In addition she has amassed over 1 million twitter followers and has tens of thousands of others that follow her throughout other social media channels.

Her latest book is called The Leadership Gap – What Gets Between You and Greatness, in which she explores her observation that it’s not uncommon for a leader who may appear to be successful by every measure, to ultimately be pulled down by the shadow side of the very traits that made him or her successful.

The book offers a breakthrough perspective on leadership

Lolly has been helping leaders for over 3 decades. But, it wasn’t always that way. At one point, she wasn’t sure what she was going to do, but she did know that she wanted to help people. She was always curious and interested in human behavior…why people do what they do. It was a passion that she immersed herself into and began teaching workshops. It was at one of these workshops that one of the attendees came up to her and asked her if she would be interested in coaching them 1 on 1. She had never planned on that. She was doing what she loved and people were gravitating toward her.

Once she helped her first client, they began to refer her and things went from there. As she says, she never has done any marketing or advertising for her business. It has grown because she has stayed true to her passion and helping others and that has spread throughout the world over time.

Lolly’s definition of leadership?

• Lolly says the foundational answer can be found in philosophy. And that philosophy is that “anything we want to do or become has to come from within.” That is why she named her business Lead from Within. She goes on to explain that before we can lead others, we have to lead ourselves and lead by example. First, work on yourself, then others will follow.

At the 9 min mark, Lolly introduces the idea of the 7 leadership styles and her latest book The Leadership Gap. She discusses how understanding these styles and their shadows can help you, but also limit your greatness, if you are not aware of how the impact you and those around you.

There are 2 polarities to each part of who we are. It’s not good or bad, but we need to leverage both our strengths and weaknesses and the key to this is awareness of self.

Lolly’s model is built on an acronym she calls RETHINK, which describes the different leadership archetypes and both sides of them:

1. Rebel Archetype: This architype wants to do something new, something that no one else is doing. They have the characteristic of being confident. They believe they are able to do it. But, the gap comes when a rebel has self-doubt and is an imposter. This can hurt their confidence and trust in themselves. They have to stay on the side of confidence and eliminate the self-doubt.
2. Explorer Archetype: The entrepreneur who wants to do something amazing and go into uncharted territory. To do that they have to let things go and use intuition. The gap comes when an explorer exploits and manipulates.
3. Truth Teller Archetype: They must speak the truth, even if you don’t want to hear it. Candor. The gap comes when a truth teller withholds a pieces of information and don’t come across as a deceiver and lose trust. Every leader must be mindful about truth telling and speaking with candor and transparency.
4. Hero Archetype: The person that shows up when they are fearful, that is courageous when they are frightened. The gap comes when a bystander does not act. They should speak up but don’t. They coast by and do nothing. If you a bystander, learn to find the Hero within you that has courage.
5. Inventor Architype: The inventor has a gift, a craft or an ability that no one else can do. They do it with excellence and integrity...the highest standard. The gap is the destroyer who is corrupt. The person who cuts corners and doesn’t have standards other than making money. Stand in the greatness of the inventor who has integrity.
6. Navigator Architype: The navigator is really good at steering people through challenges and approaching things in a pragmatic way. The gap is the fixer. The person who tells everyone what to do or does it for them. They have arrogance. They don’t navigate and empower. Being the fixer can cost you in your relationships and your business in large ways.
7. The Knight Archetype: The person that is loyal, a protector, a person that says “how can I serve you.” The gap comes in the mercenary that makes it about them. “What have you done for me?” You cannot lead if it is all about you.

Are we one archetype or are we multiple?

We are the sum of all our parts. Any entrepreneur that you see out there today has to be one of these archetypes at different times. Lolly uses Elon Musk as a good example of how at different times, he will be all types. It is the same for each one of us as leaders.

How do we use the RETHINK model to help ourselves or people we work with?

• To be a great coach, you can’t lead with telling people they have a problem or “you are a fixer or manipulator.”
• You have to help people understand themselves first and learn who they are inside.
• This is done by asking questions to help people find awareness One they are aware, you can help them as they make the choice of where they want to go.

At the 28 min mark, Lolly walks through an entire archetype and how we can look at ourselves and coach ourselves through it, leveraging our gaps.

Capabilities + Competence = Confidence

Are leaders born or created? And where should they start to grow themselves as a leader?

It’s a combination of both. Some have natural qualities, others want to create greatness in the world and need to be groomed. Both have to get into their heart and ask themselves what they want to accomplish and are they willing to make it about others and not themselves? We have a ton of books that tell us the how, so the place to start is “who are you?” What drives you? Become clear on yourself and who you truly are and want to be. Only then can you really make huge strides in the “how.”

What is one characteristic or trait that all leaders should strive to possess?

Heart! Anything that comes from the heart has good intentions. Leaders need to get out of their heads and into their hearts. How do you do it all?

How do you setup your life for success?

• Live a very disciplined life to have freedom
• Create systems that are organized and provide leverage
• Every morning share gratitude
• Ask what you can do today that you can do better tomorrow
• Whatever you are doing, be fully present and give the best of what you have to offer.
• FOCUS ​

Advice to help grow your audience?

• You have to ask yourself if you are bringing value to others and your actions need to reflect it. S
• hare true value with others
• Give, give, give, and you can grow exponentially

 

Best Quote:  Greatness is not a destiny that is only available to  few.  It is a choice that is available to everyone.

 

Lolly's Misfit 3:

1. Embrace who you are and stop comparing yourself to others.
2. Acknowledge your gifts and your strengths for what they are.
3. We have a choice in every given moment to decide who we are going to be.  Choose to be great!