This week’s Misfit Entrepreneur is Judy Wilkins-Smith. Judy is a world-renowned Systemic Work and Constellations Expert, Fortune 500 Executive Coach, and Author of Decoding Your Emotional Blueprint: A Powerful Guide to Transformation through Disentangling Multigenerational Patterns.
Basically, Judy can teach you how to decode your programming and look at the patterns from your ancestors to see if you have the DNA of an Entrepreneur and more importantly how you can learn to become a better entrepreneur.
Wouldn’t you want to know what your past generations can tell you about your future as an entrepreneur? I do and find this topic fascinating, so I asked Judy to come on and help us better understand the impact of our ancestors on our lives.
Judy was born and raised in South African and moved over to the US with her family for the opportunity. Her father was killed shortly after they arrived. She started to study and decided to write books and stumbled onto the topic of understanding what is past down in behavior from ancestors. She met a mentor who helped her to better understand the topic and as she says, “Never looked back.”
She started working with and helping individuals and companies came to her asking if she could help their companies and executives in the area of pattern recognition and performance improvement.
We all know about ancestry.com and other companies like that, but that is just scratching the surface. What can entrepreneurs learn from their ancestors about their entrepreneurial DNA?
- Judy works with “ancestry 2.0” which answers the question, “Why does it matter?” What does it matter what region your family is from or events that happened in your family history?
- These things create thoughts, feelings, actions that become patterns or emotional DNA that is passed down through generations and impact people.
- The big “aha” is that with emotional DNA, you can change it. You can change the patterns or re-write them.
- Entrepreneurs tap into the chapter that only they can write is primed by their ancestors.
How can an ancestor, from say the 1300s, have an impact on me now?
- That ancestor passed on behaviors and patterns down through generations and shapes how people rise up or subside.
- With epigenetics, if an event is substantial enough, it can create an imprint on DNA.
- The Dutch study of a town who were surrounded by Nazis and thus had little to no food and were consistently in a malnourished state.
- When the children and grandchildren of these people were studied, they all had the markers in their DNA of elevated cortisol and malnutrition.
- So, our ancestors have a real impact on us.
Explain epigenetics in more detail. How does it affect things like our attitude and world view?
- When you watch your mom and dad, you pick up things, patterns/behaviors.
- You will learn things but have a choice. If there is something you don’t like or behavior you feel is not good, you can choose to go a different way.
- This library of responses is what we use day to day to respond to situations in life.
How do we identify programming that may be holding us back? And how do we change it to what we want?
- There are always patterns that you want to start and stop.
- You need to focus on them and write how you truly feel about it and the meaning you give it.
- If you look at it and look for others in your family that have similar patterns. Are you following their lead? Do you want to follow in that pattern?
- If not, you must decide to change the pattern and path so you don’t do things “just like mom, dad, grandma, etc.”
- When you say “I wish I could…” or “I would really like to.” These are signs that you have a pattern to change.
- At the 14 min mark, Judy explains this process in detail. It’s best to listen.
“99% of the time, you, the entrepreneur are not an imposter. You are a pioneer. So, don’t feel like you are ever an imposter” You don’t have the answers, but you are willing to go look for them and figure it out. Pioneer.
At the 17 min mark, Judy talks about “systemic work.”
- It’s the need to “belong” that keeps people stuck and from breaking out.
- You’ve got to build the weight for the want that is stronger than the subsidence into the system.
Is there a set of steps that someone can follow when they feel they are pulled back into the comfort area?
- Get 2 pieces of paper: One for where you are going and one for where you are.
- On one piece, write down all the reasons why it is good idea not to move from the status quo and on the other write down everything that will happen for you if you do.
- Keep them and when you have these moments where you feel like you are falling backward, look at these two pieces of paper.
- Will you decide to quit and go back to old ways or keep going to reach the things that will happen if you do.
- It’s literally working it through logically in our heads.
Talk to us about Desire…
- The mind has to tell the body a story it can believe.
- If your body believe what the mind tells it, that is your new reality.
- Deep burning desire drives this.
How does someone use systemic work to help them on their entrepreneur journey and reach their potential?
- It is constantly being mindful about “What am I thinking?” “What is it telling me?” And “what meaning am I giving it?”
- Most importantly, what is my mind telling my body that my body believes?
- What do you believe and where did it come from and what do you choose to believe?
- One of the most important things to be aware of is the opportunity to pivot and grow. How do you teach yourself to see life?
- Thoughts, feelings, actions….
- It’s not hard work. People tell themselves terrible things all day long and believe them. That’s not hard work. Flipping it the other way isn’t either. It’s just a reorientation.
What are constellations and why are they so effective?
- Constellations are the breakthrough piece.
- They are a 3D process.
- It works best if do it with a live picture in front of you of the challenge or way of thinking.
- Judy uses an example of money. Maybe you have the same views on money as one or both of your parents. Do you realize that this is their view and doesn’t necessarily need to be yours?
- These limiting patterns can be found quickly. Then you can find the limitation, the issue, its’ origins, its effects, and how it has really affected you and then what a different possibility may be like.
- You can then re-wire the brain and the body.
- Doing this work can unlock things that have held us hostage for years.
- There is no such thing as a trainwreck, there is just another possibility.
- Ask “what more is possible?” It will lead you to new ideas and possibilities.
- Remove negative self-talk.
- Have a very clear awareness that life is not just life, but an adventure that is yours to shape.
- Don’t play the role of the victim. Take back your power.
- Show up. Show up. Show up.
Thoughts on victimhood/victimology?
- The reason we have so many issues in the world is that we have been taught to be victims.
- If you want to transform, you have to find the areas where you feel you are a victim and go beyond it.
- Victimhood is a comfortable way to fail. Don’t short-change yourself.
- Victimhood and Victimhood industry is the big lie.
- Never let someone else tell you what you are capable of or what your value is.
Best Quote: You, the entrepreneur are not an imposter. You are a pioneer. You may not have the answers, but you are willing to go look for them and figure it out. Pioneer.
Judy's Misfit 3:
When building your business. Inspire, don’t drive. Empower others to drive.
You are not broken. No one is. You may be breaking through, but you are not broken.
As an entrepreneur, you have a very big responsibility. You have the potential to change the emotional DNA of the world. You get to write the story. Don’t forget to take your own full place.
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