139: Taking Off the Mask and Freeing Yourself to Reach Your True Potential with Phillip Andrew

This week’s Misfit Entrepreneur is Phillip Andrew. Phillip is an Emmy-nominated producer, world traveled DJ, speaker, and coach out of LA whose has been featured everywhere from CBS to Netflix, E, Country Music Television, and tons of other places.

But, it is not his successful producing career that made me want to have him on the show. Instead, it was his story of loss, overcoming addiction, and how he lifted himself to new heights that really resonated with me.

He now speaks throughout the world about how to develop resilience, stand in life with integrity, and how live life to its fullest. And in this episode, I’ve asked to share his best advice and life lessons with you.

www.PhillipAndrew.co

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Phillip is originally from Detroit. His dad was a police chief. His mom was very involved with the school board. Everyone knew his family and as a result, Phillip felt entitled and had a big ego. It also developed anxiety in him in needing to be the perfect kid. As he says, this was self-inflicted. His parents never pressured him. He was also the youngest kid on the block and hung out with the older kids and was trying to impress them to fit in.

He started developing masks for the person he needed to be with different audiences. When he was 11 years old and hanging with the big boys, he started drinking and partying. It ended up being an escape for him from his masks. One day they were sitting at the dinner table having a normal dinner when he dad grew silent and turned the TV off. He then proceeded to tell Phillip and his sister that their mom had cancer. Phillip was 14. They all cried.

Phillip put on a “tough mask,” and endured, but just before his 16th birthday, his mother passed away. This combined with his drinking was the perfect recipe for keeping the alcohol in his life and letting it gain more control – even though he was high functioning and still doing well in sports, school, etc.

From 18-20, it really came to a head. He was arrested multiple times, crashed his car. Got a DUI and had to go to AA.

AA was a place where he finally found a level of acceptance, he didn’t have to prove himself or try to please people. He’s now been sober for over 10 years.

At the 15 min mark, Phillip talks about how freeing it was to finally just be himself and who he really is.

“Secrets grow in the dark and will hold you hostage”

When you learn to choose how you live and take the power back from others and note cede it to them – you find the ultimate freedom. True freedom lies in taking control and ownership of who you are.

At the 18 min mark, Phillip talks about how grateful he is for the problems he had and why – and how even small experiences in our lives can have such a big impact.

Define resilience…

• Resistance is something that comes along and wants to shut everything down.
• Resilience is knowing your mission and saying “No matter what, I will get through this”
• But, we are not meant to “just get through life.” We are meant to thrive in it.
• Resilience helps up to thrive and take ownership and learn from the things that happen in our lives to get better and serve ourselves and our purpose.

“If you want to be more resilient, accept that fact that failure, struggle, and hardship is coming. It is a part of life. Accept it now.”

• Make the decisions of how you will handle situations ahead of time, before they come up – not when you are in them.
• How can you show up in the most powerful way?

How do you teach people to attain or regain self-confidence?

• Start at gratitude.
• What are you grateful for?
• What are the things that you are complaining about in your life that you can be grateful for?
• We are very good at “finding problems,” but not so good at “finding solutions.”
• Shift the mindset from “I wish” to accept what is and be grateful for it and the opportunities that come with it.
• Find areas in your life where you can serve somebody.
• Build systems such as affirmations lists, mission statements, daily routines, daily gratitude time, etc.
• We don’t have an information problem, we have an action problem – and application problem. You have to act on things to make a difference for yourself.
• We cannot get so afraid of making the “wrong move” that we don’t make any move at all.

What has being a producer and a world-traveled DJ taught you about business?

• Both of those roles are in people industries which most things are.
• Understanding and being able to work, motivate, and interact with people are critical skills to succeed.
• It teaches you to put who you are becoming ahead of the task at hand.
• It also teaches you to do the work to get what you want. You cannot avoid it or get around it. It has to be done and it has to be done well.
• Show up powerfully and be consistent and persistent.
• Following up is so critical. You may have to do it 10x or more to finally get an answer or get acknowledged.
• Develop a mindset of always going forward. Always. Accept it.

What does it take to put on a great show? What elements do you need?

• You must have a great message. A great story. Story-telling is key.
• And different shows serve different purposes. You must know the purpose and align things correctly.
• You also need to have an idea of what the end-game is.
• If you are going to write a book, write the reviews you want first. Write the call to action ahead of time. Then write the book to lead to it.
• With TV, starting at the end and what you want the audience to feel and know, is the most important step.
• You also have to understand the things you can control and make sure they are done to the best of your ability and empower others to do the things they need to do at the best of their ability.

 

Best Quote: “If you want to be more resilient, accept that fact that failure, struggle, and hardship is coming. It is a part of life. Accept it now.”

 

Phillip's Misfit 3:

1. Ask yourself if you are being people pleasing or service oriented in each situation. Serve people.
2. What would your family, business, team, group, etc. look like if everyone were giving the same amount of care and effort that you were giving? Hold yourself accountable to be the example for them.
3. There is freedom in vulnerability. Get rid of the secrets, be open, and honest with yourself.